3 Sports You Missed, Vol. 13

A Double Aggie Disaster, two world records set on a very funny track, and an Egyptian dynasty

Hey all, it’s time for…

SPORTS!

YOU!

MISSED!

Sorry the only newsletter entries in the past few weeks have been Sports You Missed with nothing else in between. That’s a trend which will end TOMORROW!

But for now, here are the Sports You Missed! And a reminder that if you wanna hang out with me in the subscriber chat, you won’t miss any of these sports because that’s where I’m shouting them out as they happen.

A Double Aggie Disaster

If it’s a sport with a bat and a ball, Texas A&M was ranked #1 at some point this year¹… aaand in the last two weekends, both sets of Swinging Aggies lost in historically devastating fashion.

The softball Aggies received the #1 seed in the NCAA Tournament and were expected to breeze through their regional, like every other #1 seed in NCAA Tournament history. They were the best team in the country, hosting mid-majors. And the softball tournament isn’t like the basketball tournament, where a bunch of threes by a 16-seed can end your year. It’s double-elimination! You need to lose twice!

But the Aggies had met their match: Liberty. (Yeah, it’s a real bummer the team on the winning side of his historic upset is Liberty, the runaway leader of the “most ethically bankrupt college in NCAA athletics” rankings.) The Aggies lost their first matchup with the Flames 8-5 after allowing five runs in the sixth inning, fell behind 6-1 in their second matchup before winning 14-11 in extra innings, then allowed another five-run sixth inning in the decisive win-or-go-home rubber match, losing 6-5.

The Aggies were the #1 team in the country, and never felt like the better team. They spent 22 innings hanging on for dear life, only managing to eke out a win in extra innings of a game where Liberty was literally one ball away from winning—the Flames had the bases loaded with a full count and the tying run on third base. It makes you wonder why Oklahoma, the 4-time national champion and SEC regular season winner, wasn’t the #1 seed, but that would be a worse story.

Aggie baseball’s downfall was more of a season-long thing. After making the championship series of last year’s men’s College World Series (and losing their head coach to Texas), the Aggies were ranked as the best team in the country in every poll before the season started. But almost immediately, things weren’t right. They fell out of the Top 25 by mid-March after a 10-9 start including losses to Cal Poly, New Mexico State, and Texas State. On the flip side, though, they also had the firepower to beat top-tier opponents. Multiple series wins over top-5 teams—as recently as two weeks ago, when they beat #2-ranked LSU—had them on the NCAA Tournament bubble.

And then the Aggies got swept… at home… by Missouri, a team with an 0-24 record in SEC play. The Aggies were outscored 23-8 in three games by Mizzou, the only three wins the Tigers had in SEC play all year long.

Like in every other sport, the SEC is a powerhouse in baseball, and some bracketology projections include 13 teams from the SEC… but the Aggies are the 14-seed in the upcoming SEC Tournament. Getting swept convincingly by the worst team in the conference should be enough to convince the committee to keep the Aggies out, unless they win the SEC Tournament this week in Hoover. Some thing A&M could fire their coach, Michael Earley, after just one season, eating a $3 million buyout. (Which is a lot for college baseball!)

So the Aggies will likely become the first preseason #1 team to miss the NCAA baseball tournament, and the first #1 seed to lose their home regional at the NCAA softball tournament. Not good!

It’s worth noting that all these devastating losses came at home, which should firmly remove A&M from the running for the “best home field advantage” category in the 2026 edition of the college football video game. Aggies, you need to start practicing your yells for multiple sports! Can you try sawing varsity’s horns a little bit harder? Where’s that fan from Section 336 when you need him?

Anyway, here’s the “share” button for Longhorns fans who want to tell everybody on earth about this.

An Egyptian Dynasty

Squash will make its debut at the 2028 Olympics in LA, and even though we’re three years out, I can make a pretty safe prediction about which nation is going to win the gold medal. Egyptian squashers have squashed everybody in their path, winning 18 of the last 20 world championships—10 of 10 by Egyptian women, 8 of 10 by the men.

Last week’s world championships in Chicago were no different. The men’s gold medal match was Egypt vs. Egypt, with Mostafa Asal beating Ali Farag for the title. (Asal’s Wikipedia page, featuring a phenomenally long list of on-court controversies and allegedly dirty play, is an entertaining read.) The women’s gold medal match was also Egypt vs. Egypt, with Nour El Sherbini winning over Hania El Hammamy.

The biggest threat to Egyptian dynastic rule—the Hyksos, a reference I feel comfortable making because I read SO MANY books about ancient Egypt when I was a kid—is American Olivia Weaver, who almost upset El Sherbini in the semis. Weaver was three points away from beating the seven-time champion 3-1, but El Sherbini scored six straight points, then won the decisive fifth set easily.

It’s Weaver’s second straight bronze medal, but if she’d beaten El Sherbini and made the championship match, that would’ve been the best result by an American (man or woman) in squash history. It’s a little curious that the LA hosting committee chose a sport which America isn’t really that good at as one of its optional Olympic sports, but Weaver might make the decision pay off anyway.

If you build it, they will run

The best way to set a world record is to run a weird race. You’ll never be the fastest in the 100m—but you’ve got a shot at a funky distance nobody ever tries. We got two records in Atlanta this week, thanks to a purpose-built long, straight track in the middle of a park.

Adidas built a 200-meter long straightaway in Atlanta’s Piedmont Park, twice as long as the 100m straightaway on standard ovals. That gave elite runners the chance to take a shot at setting records at unusual distances in front of a handful of sunbathers and at least one person playing the trumpet (not seen on camera, but audible on the broadcast.)

In the women’s 150m, Nigeria’s Favour Ofili (GEAUX TIGERS) ran a 15.85. The previous record, a 16.09, had actually been set by Shericka Jackson over the first 150 meters of a 200m race on an oval track. Second-place finisher Tamari Davis ran a 16.14, which ranks as the fourth-best 150m of all time.

I love that Ofili’s post-race breakdown was “I treated it like a long 100,” and I love even more that Lewis Johnson reacted with an “aaaaAAAAhhhh” as if she just told him that E actually equals MC squared.

And in the men’s 200m hurdles, Brazil’s Alison Dos Santos coasted to a 21.85. This race is run so rarely that the standing record was set in 1960 by American Don Styron, so long ago that he was competing for a school (Northeast Louisiana State) which has a different name now (Louisiana-Monroe.)

Track pedants would argue neither of these is a “world record,” because World Athletics doesn’t include the 150m and 200m hurdles on their list of approved races. But those haters are just trying to prevent you from personally setting the world record in the 473-yard steeplechase on a course you set up in a strip mall parking lot using a kiddie pool.

Some Sports You Won’t Miss

Absolutely PACKED this week.

ITTF World Table Tennis Championships: PING-PONG! This started Saturday in Doha aaaaaaaand every American has already been eliminated. The mixed double finals are Saturday, all the other finals are Sunday. Every match at every table seems to be streaming on YouTube, so you can watch all the best pingers and pongers in the world on your phone.

NCAA lacrosse championships (ALL OF THEM²): Since 1992, the NCAA has thrown a big annual Men’s Lacrosse Championship Party, with Division I, Division II, and Division III all holding their Final Fours in the same place in the same weekend. This year, they’re adding the women’s tournament to the mix, as all four championships will be this weekend in Foxboro. It’s a great idea they’re immediately abandoning, as the women’s tournament will go back to its own site for the 2026, 2027, and 2028 championships. Congrats to all the men’s lacrosse fans who will get to see Northwestern win. The D1 Final Fours are Friday and Saturday with the championships Sunday and Monday, and the D2/D3 championships are Sunday. They’re all on ESPN channels and streaming.

PWHL Finals: The championship of the women’s hockey league. The quirk of these playoffs is that the top-seeded Monreal Victoire got to choose their first-round opponent… and apparently picked wrong, as they lost to the 3rd-seeded Ottawa Charge. The Charge will face the Minnesota Frost in a best-of-5 series starting tonight, with Game 2 Thursday and Game 3 Saturday. I believe it’s streaming on the PWHL Youtube channel.

Euroleague Final Four: The best basketball on earth not in the NBA. Some great Guy Remembering to be had for college basketball fans (Nigel Williams-Goss! Bonzie Colson! Thomas Walkup! Scottie Wilbekin!) Olympiacos and Panathinaikos, who hate each other more than any two American sports teams hate each other, could face each other for the championship. This year’s Final Four is in Abu Dhabi, which doesn’t really make sense, and sadly, it looks like the only way to watch is to pay $13 for a Euroleague Final Four pass—many of the earlier rounds were on ESPN+, maybe they just haven’t updated the info yet. Semis Friday, championship Sunday.

NCAA golf championships: The women’s tournament is now in the knockout round with the semis today and the championship tomorrow; the men’’s tournament will start Friday and run through next week. I was wrong last week to say these are on ESPN, they’re on the Golf Channel.

The Soccer Section

We’ve reached the part of the year where dozens of season-long soccer tournaments across the globe are wrapping up with winner-take-all championship games. None of that “we played 40 games to clearly determine the best team in our league” crap—just one stupid game, possibly containing penalty kicks, for the title. Let's go!!!!

Europa League Final: yes, this is the second-tier league in Europe, but since it results in a trophy AND a berth in next year’s Champions League, it’s clearly one of the most important games of the year. It's Manchester United vs. Tottenham, so two teams your American friends have decided to root for. It's Wednesday on Paramount Plus.

Serie A deciding matches: Napoli is one point up on Inter, and both teams will play Friday at the same time. Napoli should have an easier time pulling this off: they're at home against 14th-place Cagliari while Inter is on the road in beautiful Como. If the two teams end the season level on points (unlikely but not impossible,) they'll have to squeeze in a one game playoff next week before Inter plays in the Champions League final. The two games are Friday on Paramount Plus.

CONCACAF W Champions Cup: The first championship of the North American women’s soccer tournament. After the group stages, there are two teams from the NWSL (Portland Thorns and Gotham FC) and two teams from Mexico’s Liga MX Feminil (UANL and Club America.) All games will be at UANL’s home stadium in Nuevo Leon, which SEEMS UNFAIR but alas. Games are Wednesday and Saturday on Paramount Plus.

UEFA Women’s Champions League Final: Barcelona is looking for the 3-peat, with Arsenal (featuring USWNT defender Emily Fox) hoping for a big upset. This is Saturday on “DAZN,” a thing I will not pronounce out loud.

EFL Playoffs: I’m a sucker for promotion/relegation matches, and these are the best of the best. We’ll see which Championship teams get promoted to the Premier League, which League One teams get promoted to the Championship, and which League Two teams get promoted to League One. They’ll play in descending order Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, on Paramount Plus.

1. Full disclosure, I’m not sure that college cricket rankings exist, but if they did, the Aggies would have been ranked #1 coming into the year, because the Aggie Cricket Club won last year’s national championship.

2. Ok… most of them. The Division II and Division III women’s championships are not in Foxboro.