This Kiwi is the only NASCAR driver who knows how to make right turns

Shane van Gisbergen has convinced me to watch NASCAR. Plus! What's the definition of a handball, and how long would it take you to eat 70.5 hot dogs?

Joey Chestnut won the 4th of July hot dog eating contest by eating 70.5 hot dogs, beating his closest opponent by 24 dogs.

I have proposed “eat as many hot dogs as the Nathan’s hot dog contest winner, for as many days as it takes you to do that, with no other foods in between” as a potential fantasy football last-place punishment but every year people say things like “no, I cannot go to work with 6 hot dogs every day for a week.” So I’m just throwing it out there as a suggestion for your league.

Personally, I think it would take me four days to match Joey. That’s five hot dogs for breakfast, five hot dogs for lunch, five hot dogs for dinner, plus an estimated ~2.5 hot dogs for snacks, for a total of 17.5 hot dogs per day. Multiply that by 4 and we get to 70. I wouldn’t enjoy it, but I could do it.

Anyway, onto sports:

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The Right Turn King of Chicago

I have never really gotten into car racing of any type, in part because I’ve never really been sure who I’m supposed to root for. But now, I am thrilled to announce that I have a favorite NASCAR driver: Shane van Gisbergen, the New Zealand-born driver who came to America to whip big oafish stock cars around road courses while American oval-heads cower in fear whenever they have to make a right turn.

A few weeks ago, SVG won the Viva Mexico 250 by 16 seconds, the largest margin of victory on the Cup Series in 16 years. And this weekend, he swept NASCAR’s swing through Chicago, the only street circuit NASCAR runs, taking the pole and winning the race in both races held this weekend, the Cup Series’ Grant Park 165 and second-tier Xfinity Series’ The Loop 110.

• This was the sixth race on the Chicago street circuit. SVG has won four of them: The 2023 and 2025 Cup Series races, and the 2024 and 2025 Xfinity Series races. And he didn’t even win enter the 2023 Xfinity Series race, so he’s 4-for-5.

• For comparison, the Chicago Bears had three wins in eight games in Chicago last year. He also may have more wins in Chicago this year than the White Sox.

• SVG celebrates his wins by punting a New Zealand-branded rugby ball into the grandstand. Here he is going Tory Taylor on Saturday:

Honestly, you had me at “celebratory punting.”

• SVG was built for this. He’s the three-time champion of the Australian Supercars series, where the cars are pretty similar to NASCAR cars, but every race is on a road/street course.

• That said I bet it was a little confusing switching to a car with a steering wheel on the left side. I know I was a menace the one time I rented a car in Ireland.

• Other NASCAR drivers are entranced by SVG’s technical capabilities, and his understanding of how to take turns and overtake drivers. Broadcasts have run cameras of his footwork, flipping from pedal to pedal, with fellow driver Corey LaJoie tweeting “I would buy an Onlyfans subscription of SVG’s footwork.” (He apparently uses the “clutch” pedal, unlike most American drivers—apparently it’s some European thing???) Others are simply blown away by the types of moves he attempts, things he attempts moves they simply wouldn’t think of.

• van Gisbergen is just the second driver in NASCAR history to go pole-win/pole-win in a single weekend between the Xfinity and Cup series—Kyle Busch did it in 2016 in Indianapolis. I don’t know why it’s so accepted for top-tier drivers to run in the minor leagues in NASCAR, but I think we should do that in more sports. I want to watch LeBron score 57 points in a G-League game with Bronny.

• SVG’s NASCAR career exists because of the Chicago street race. He was initially brought over in 2023 just for the one race in Chicago as a road course ringer… but he actually won, the first NASCAR driver to win their debut since 1963. And he flew back to Australia and ran in a Supercars race the next week.

• Road course ringers are nothing new. Here’s a picture of Boris Said, who posted eight top-10 finishes in the Cup Series and won an Xfinity Series race, included because I felt like it:

  

  You’re welcome.

• But SVG is the first road course ringer in decades to actually win a Cup Series race… and he can’t stop winning.

• He’s the first full-time rookie to win multiple races in a year since Denny Hamlin in 2006, and his two wins also have him fifth in the NASCAR playoff standings.

• How do the NASCAR playoff standings and playoff format work? I have tried to understand this before and I simply cannot.

• It’s possible Sunday’s race was the last ever held at the Chicago circuit, as a 3-year deal cut by previous Chicago mayor Lori Lightfoot is expiring. Although NASCAR drivers loved being able to stay in a fancy hotel a block from the racecourse, (an option not exactly available with most NASCAR tracks), building a course in a major city was logistically difficult, expensive, and politically unpopular. NASCAR is reportedly interested in trying a street race in San Diego next year.

• But for now, we turn to next week’s race… WHICH IS ALSO ON A ROAD COURSE, IN SONOMA. I’m all in. Let me know what I need to do to understand NASCAR viewership.

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The Hand of Gold

Mexico beat the United States 2-1 in the Gold Cup final, their tenth title, the most by any country. They thoroughly dominated the Americans, earning 12 corner kicks while the Americans won zero.

However, the USMNT could’ve scored a second goals if the referee had awarded a penalty after Mexican defender Jorge Sanchez palmed and spun the ball with his hand in the penalty box in the second half:

For non-soccer fans, it’s time for a quick refresher on the handball rule:

• A handball is when a player touches the ball with their hand or arm.

• But also, sometimes you can touch the ball with your hand or arm and it’s not a handball.

• Got it?

The official IFAB laws of the game do include a clause that kinda applies to this play, stating that it’s not a handball when “a player falls and the ball hits their supporting arm, which is between their body and the ground.”

But the ball didn’t “hit his supporting arm.” He fell, and then his arm hit the ball! That’s different! Handball!

Did Mexico deserve to win? Yes, obviously. Am I still mad about this? Yes! If you want me to be rational, you’re reading the wrong newsletter!

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You wouldn’t like me when I’m speedy

I am as surprised as you to have TWO motorsports entries in this column, but I’ll celebrate weird wins anywhere.

F1 driver Nico Hülkenburg finished third at the British Grand Prix, his first podium after 239 starts. It was actually an incredible bit of racing by Hülkenberg, who started in 19th place out of 20 drivers, but climbed 16 spots into third.

• Hülkenberg had the most starts by a driver with no podiums… by a lot. The new all-time leader is Adrian Sutil, who started 128 races from 2007 to 2014 without ever finishing better than fourth.

• The active non-podium start leader is Yuki Tsunoda, who will make his 100th start later this month at the Belgian Grand Prix. There are about 25 races per year, so Hülkenberg’s record of 238 starts without a win is safe until at least 2029… and that’s assuming Tsunoda keeps racing for five more years without losing his seat and without ever reaching the podium.

• In F1, you get a trophy for finishing on the podium… but the third-place trophy at this race was made out of Legos. Hülkenberg didn’t seem to mind and was thrilled to bring his daughter a new toy:

• Gonna be honest… your name is “Hulk,” you wear green, and you finally reach the podium and you don’t rip your shirt off… big miss.

• He’s the first driver to podium for the Sauber team since 2012—they’ve only had a single race win in 30-plus years of F1 racing. So he probably didn’t have the best car during his extended drought.

• OK, I guess I have a favorite F1 driver now too. It’s vroom-vroom season on Read Rodge.

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Quick Hits

• You’ve gotta watch the finish at the Bowerman Mile, where Niels Laros came out of nowhere to nip Yared Nuguse at the finish line:

  Nuguse would have been the first American to win the event, held annually in Eugene, Oregon, since 2006.

• The college all-star team representing Team USA at the FIBA Women’s AmeriCup won the gold medal over defending champions Brazil… but honestly, the most impressive performance was by Brazil’s Damiris Dantas, a center for the Indiana Fever, who set a tournament record with 35 points while leading the Brazilians in rebounds and assists.

• The best action at the Americup, though, came in the bronze medal game, where Canada won the bronze in double overtime on this perfect out-of-bounds play leading to a layup by Michigan’s Syla Swords:

• Faith Kipyegon broke her own the world record in the 1500m, which is a much more fun accomplishment than “running the fastest mile ever, but it doesn’t count as a world record because it was in a race specifically organized so she could run under 4 minutes, which she didn’t do, but, like, still pretty cool I guess” And Beatrice Chebet smashed the 5k record:

• Team USA also won the men’s U18 World Championship, demolishing Germany by 33 in the gold medal game. 5-star non-Mormon BYU commit A.J. Dybantsa won tournament MVP… but more importantly, 3-star Northwestern commit Tyler Kropp led the tournament in scoring, posting 21.7 points per game.

• American gymnast Ruben Padilla stuck the landing on the most difficult double mini trampoline pass ever, winning a gold medal at a trampoline World Cup event in Portugal. And apparently when you win a trampoline gold medal they give you a little trampoline:

• Daytime sports watching right now is pretty elite with Wimbledon, the Tour de France, and I’ve got the women’s Euros on my TV right now.