The Raptors are getting Fetty Wapped

Say "Hey What's Up Hello" to the Toronto Raptors.

An urgent update from the NBA world: The Toronto Raptors are getting Fetty Wapped.

I’ve decided that I would be doing myself and my readers a disservice if I didn’t do a full breakdown of this and what it entails.

What’s going on with the Raptors?

Their record is 17-38. They’ve been sitting there for over a week due to the NBA’s All-Star break. After tomorrow night’s game against the Miami Heat, they will be either 18-38 or 17-39—but Fetty Wappings live forever.

Are you going to provide an analysis of the Raptors’ season, their recent trade for an injured Brandon Ingram, and what that trade and subsequent extension mean for the future of their franchise?

No, not really. I’m pretty much just here to talk about teams that go 17-38.

How rare is an NBA Fetty Wapping?

In the NBA’s 78 seasons, 33 teams have had a record of 17 wins and 38 losses, most recently the 2021-22 Thunder. However, in the Modern Fetty Wapping era, commonly considered by sports historians to begin with the spring 2014 release of Fetty Wap’s breakthrough hit “Trap Queen,” there has been a major increase, with eight Fetty Wappings in 11 seasons.

Can a team being Fetty Wapped still make the playoffs?

Of the 33 teams that have had a record of 17-38, only one has gone on to qualify for the NBA postseason: The 1985-86 Chicago Bulls. That’s right: Michael Jordan once got Fetty Wapped… kinda.

1986 was the year Jordan was mainly hurt. The Bulls were 3-0 when Jordan got injured and fell to a 17-38 record without him. Luckily, back then the NBA only had 23 teams and let 16 of them into the playoffs. That allowed Chicago to qualify for the postseason at 30-52. By that point, Jordan was healthy, and he had his famous 63-point performance against the dynastic Celtics, although the Bulls got swept.

So, to answer the question, unless the Raptors add Michael Jordan or seven of league’s 30 teams suddenly disappear, no, they probably won’t make the playoffs.

What hope does a team getting Fetty Wapped have?

Fetty Wapping is a chance for renewal. This is the second time in Raptors history that the team has had a 17-38 record, the previous time coming in the 2002-3 season. Things didn’t get any better for the listless Raptors, who had lost Vince Carter to injury and would get even worse after the Fetty Wapping, losing 20 of their final 27 games.

You know what happened next? They drafted Chris Bosh!

Like I said, the most recent team to go 17-38 was Oklahoma City in 2021-22. They were able to select Chet Holmgren in the following draft. Just two years later, they had pulled a Fetty Flip, posting a 38-17 record through the first 55 games of the 2023-24 season, The Hawks and Mavericks both had 17-38 records in the 2017-18 season; they selected Luka Doncic and Trae Young in the 2018 draft.

Have teams been Fetty Wapped in other sports?

In baseball, it’s pretty rare for teams to be far enough below .500 to hit 17-38, with just 23 Fetty Wappings since 1900. However, again, there is a post-Trap Queen surge: four of those 23 seasons have come since 2018, most recently with the 2023 Royals. (I suspect this is due to the modern-day trend of Being Extremely Bad To Save Team Owners Money.)

The Chicago Blackhawks have currently won 17 games and lost 38, but unfortunately, that includes seven OT losses, which go in a different column, so their official record in the NHL standings is 17-31-7. The only official Fetty Wapping in my book belongs to the 1960 New York Rangers, who went 17-38-15.

Fetty Wappings are, of course, not possible during football seasons, which do not last 55 games. But they’re very possible during football games, since 17 and 38 are both assembled out of touchdowns and field goals. 45 NFL games have ended with a 17-38 final score, as have countless college games. (Troy lost two games 17-38 this season.) Tom Brady was the recipient of a Fetty Wapping in 2009 and handed out a Fetty Wapping to Peyton Manning in 2001. However, we’re in a drought—none since 2019.

Rodger, why do you care so much about Fetty Wap?

Listen: You had to be there.

How is Fetty Wap doing?

Not great. Fetty is two years into a 6-year prison sentence for distributing cocaine. In an interview with XXL, Fetty lamented the fact that he hadn’t taken his music career more seriously and tried to make money through dealing drugs rather than his music, preaching “anybody that really pays attention to me, choose a different life, ’cause this s**t wack, man. I hate being here. I hate being away from my children.” He did manage to release some new music in 2023, including the song “1738” featuring Coi Leray:

When asked what sort of support he’s received, Fetty said he felt a little bit abandoned by the outside world: “I ain’t gonna lie to you. I be feeling like people don’t really f**k with me like that, you know what I’m sayin’?… The support system I see a lot of other rappers got, I don’t got that in here.” I hope he knows that whenever a team loses a game 17-38 or starts their season with a record of 17 wins and 38 losses, we’re thinking about him.