The fast people are getting faster

I’ve got bad news for carnivorous animals hoping to chase down and eat human beings: We’re getting faster. Seven world records were set over the course of nine days earlier this month, and 10 of the top 19 men’s indoor mile times in history have been run since the start of February.

Here are a bunch of unreal things that have happened in men’s track this month alone.

Uganda’s Jacob Kiplimo wrecked the half-marathon record by a shocking 48 seconds in Barcelona. That’s just so much time to break a record by.

There’s been an open question about whether somebody could run a sub-2-hour marathon in recent years. After Kiplimo’s 56:42 in the half, it feels like a “when” not “if.” He’s never run a marathon before, focusing on the 5k and 10k distances for most of his career, but will make his 26.2 debut in London in April.

Americans Grant Fisher and Yared Nuguse both set indoor world records at the Millrose Games at The Armory in Washington Heights. Fisher in the 3,000 meters…

…and Nuguse in the mile.

In both races, the second-place finisher competitor also managed a time which would have broken the previous world record (Cole Hocker in the 3,000, Hobbs Kessler in the mile.)

It’s probably the most impressive thing anybody has done on that track since MY WIFE GOT HER DOCTORATE IN THAT BUILDING LAST MAY!!!!!!

(She’s the one in the light blue gown and the funny hat.)

Fisher then went on to set another indoor world record in the 5,000 meters a week later in Boston. The previous record by Kenenisa Bekele had stood since 2004—but Fisher broke the 21-year old mark by over 5-and-a-half seconds.

As I said earlier, these are indoor records, which tend to be a bit slower than outdoor records because of the track size. A regulation outdoor track is 400 meters, but most indoor tracks are 200 meters. That means the runners have more frequent, sharper turns, which understandably slows their momentum.

But Fisher’s time in Boston (12:44.09) was actually faster than his national record in the outdoor 5,000 (12.46.96.) So the fastest 5,000 ever run by an American is now a time set on an indoor course, which is basically impossible.

Then Norway’s Jakob Ingebrigtsen then broke Nuguse’s 5-day-old indoor mile record.

And after reviewing the splits, it was revealed that Ingebrigtsen was also at a world record pace when he crossed the 1500 meter mark, 110 meters before the finish line. And you can, in fact, set a world record at a distance even if it happens in a longer race–it just doesn’t happen very often, because how could it?

So Ingebrigtsen actually set two world records in the same race; the 1,500m (3:29.63) and the mile (3:45.14.) By the way, this was Ingebrigtsen’s very first time running the mile indoors. He’ll probably break the record again!

And most importantly of all…. Japan’s Toshikazu Yamanishi broke the 20k racewalk record by 26 seconds. If there is one person posting about racewalking it is me. If there is nobody posting about racewalking I am dead. There’s no video of Yamanishi’s record, sadly, because it takes a really long time to walk 20 kilometers even if you’re doing it very quickly.

There are some explanations here…

The track at Boston University, where the 5,000-meter record was set, has become famous for its speed. It’s very heavily banked, at 18 degrees instead of the standard 10 degrees, and track construction has gotten better over the years. There have also been big advances in shoe technology.

But ultimately, I choose to believe in human progress. We’re getting faster! Suck it, people who think the past was better!