PLEASE stop making everyone look at the Jets
The Jets' passing offense went Actually Backwards. PLUS, Lions trick plays are breaking century-old rules, Rico Dowdle fulfilled his promise to pants the Cowboys, and more!
I have a plea to the NFL: Please, for the love of all that is holy, stop letting my New York Jets play in standalone games.
Do not put my favorite team on Monday Night Football. Don’t even put them on Thursday Night Football. Carrie Underwood should never have to wait all day to watch the Jets. Do not send the Jets overseas. No trips to Europe, Brazil, or Australia. Any future countries that host NFL games should not be exposed to the Jets. Please keep the Jets bottled up in 1 p.m. kickoffs, firmly contained in the seventh-most notable slot in the RedZone Octobox.
It’s one thing for me to watch my team struggling, quietly, while the rest of the nation simply forgets about the Jets’ existence. It’s another when other people are watching. It makes me feel like this:
The Jets are now 9-31 in primetime/European games since 2016. But like I said, I can handle losses. It’s the humiliation, the fact that more eyeballs on these games results in more memorable catastrophes. The ButtFumble, the “seeing ghosts” game … these are actually just standard Jets occurrences. You think it’s unusual to watch a Jets QB throw four picks or slam into their teammate’s ass so hard they drop the ball? Brother, I see that once a week. The only reason those moments broke contain and became memes is because they were on national TV.
The Jets have one remaining primetime game this year, a Week 11 Thursday night game against the resurgent Patriots. Please, cancel it. Let me bear my burden in private.
Going Backwards
I understand that most NFL fans in England are, in fact, seasoned football fans. There are now British football players, British football coaches, and British football podcasters — a whole ecosystem of British ball knowers.
But I choose to believe that somewhere in that crowd of 80,000 at Tottenham stadium, there was one tiny British child watching a football game for the first time, a Dickensian waif who saved all the ha’pennies they earned sweeping chimneys to buy a ticket to see the big spectacle. Please sir … I just wish to see one touchdown. But nope. Jets. Their first and perhaps only exposure to American football was a team moving backwards.
This is not an exaggeration. The Jets had negative-10 passing yards, the fewest in an NFL game in the 21st century. (The last time a team lost that many yards attempting to pass was when Ryan Leaf went 1-for-15 with two interceptions for the Chargers in 1998.) That number was only possible because Justin Fields’ 45 passing yards were offset by 55 yards worth of sacks. Fields completed nine passes, and was sacked nine times.
New York’s longest play was an 11-yard completion to Josh Reynolds. Its third-longest play was a botched shotgun snap. Breece Hall corraled the ball, made a defender miss, and ran forward for eight yards. About 90 percent of the Jets’ actual attempts to run offensive plays were worse than a bad snap that their hyper-talented running back freestyled to make a solid gain. They had 82 total yards, the fewest of the season by any team so far, and the 10th-fewest by any team this century.
The Jets seemed unsure whether running offense was a good idea. They ran a tortured two-minute drill before halftime that included a fourth down conversion on a fake punt, then seemed uninterested in trying to score, letting the clock run out instead of attempting more plays. Head coach Aaron Glenn apparently felt that getting to halftime would give his team a better chance of winning than trying to score points. Garrett Wilson was rightfully furious that his coach didn’t trust his team to go forward:
But, I mean… Aaron Glenn kinda had a point. The Jets’ passing offense literally went backwards. I cannot stress enough that I am being literal and not metaphorical.
The amazing thing is: The Jets almost won! Thanks to a safety and two possessions in which the Jets’ defense and special teams gave the ball back to the offense in field goal range. The Jets had a chance to win on the final possession of the game … and got sacked twice.
Believe it or not, the Jets have actually had a chance to win about half of their games. They held fourth-quarter leads against the Steelers, Bucs, and now the Broncos — all decent teams! — only to lose on late field goals.
I am not alone in feeling secondhand embarrassment when other people perceive the Jets. When they lost last year’s London game to the Vikings, owner Woody Johnson was reportedly so angry that he fired head coach Robert Saleh after the team got home from England. But much like our passing offense, it feels like the Jets have actually gone backwards since then. At some point, I just want Johnson to realize there’s nobody left he can fire besides himself.
Your Deep Rulebook Lore Moment of the Week
On Sunday night, the Lions seemingly pulled off yet another spectacular trick play. David Montgomery threw to Jared Goff, who bobbled the ball until he somehow gained control and stumbled into the end zone.
But after lengthy discussion among the referees, the play was called back due to a rule banning quarterbacks from shifting from under center unless they pause for at least one second. The rule is relatively obscure, with no counterpart in the college and high school rulebooks.
The Lions never recovered. Their staff presumably spent the rest of the night triple-checking the viability of each entry in their Ulysses-length trick play compendium. Unable to wield their wide array of Penei Sewell wheel routes and quintuple reverses until the legal department gave them clearance, the Lions lost 30-17.
So why does this rule exist? The arcane wording in the rulebook provides a clue. The rule in question states that “It is illegal motion if a T-Formation Quarterback goes in motion and fails to come to a complete stop for at least one full second prior to the snap.” Elsewhere, the rulebook defines “T-formation quarterback” as basically just a quarterback under center, even if a team is not specifically lined up in the T Formation, which nobody has really used in about 70 years. So why not just say “under center”? Because this specific ban was put in place to outlaw a play that would have absolutely bamboozled every 5-foot-10, 170-pound, Benny Goodman-loving NFL defender in 1937.
The T Formation was a 1930s innovation, celebrated to this day in the Bears’ fight song. This video from football historian Jon Johnston explains why it was so effective. I’ve clipped it at the part when Johnston explains the actions a quarterback could take from under center, and why they were so different from previous decades of football:
The ball was snapped from the center to the quarterback, who then turned and took a few steps with his back to the defense. For a critical split-second, the defense had no idea whether the quarterback was handing off the ball, setting up to pass, or preparing to run the ball himself.
When defenders saw the QB moving, that was their signal that the play had started. If the quarterback was to start running before the ball was snapped, they’d be flummoxed. They’d all jump offsides! Their 1930s brains wouldn’t be able to handle a play like that. It would’ve been like handing them an iPad or a bag of Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos. They’d lose their minds. So pre-snap quarterback motion was curtailed.
In today’s game, the rule feel anachronistic. Goff’s shift didn’t simulate the snap. The Chiefs didn’t see him rolling out and start having flashbacks to Sid Luckman. They have used iPads and eaten Doritos. They weren’t crapping their athletic knickers and melting down.
But still, the Lions should know that this rule is on the books. They’re the NFL’s Trick Play Team. In addition, the Vikings were called for an illegal shift on a similar play last year, when Sam Darnold motioned out before a direct snap to Aaron Jones. Many passes to quarterbacks, like this 2015 trick play for Tom Brady, make sure to have the quarterback stop before the snap.
And besides, I think the Lions can do even better. While most of the Lions’ trick plays take advantage of the under-the-radar strengths of their players, Goff clearly isn’t a natural receiver. Maybe they should Give The Big Man The Ball!
Buckle Up
Last week, we talked about Rico Dowdle’s 207-yard game, and his promise to make the Cowboys pay for letting him walk in free agency last season. “Buckle up,” he said.
I cannot stress enough how little the Cowboys buckled up. Their car might not even have seatbelts. I think Jerry Jones traded them away in the offseason.
Dowdle went for 183 yards rushing, 56 yards receiving and a touchdown against his old team. And it’s not like Dowdle padded those stats with a long breakaway TD. His longest carry was 15 yards. He was ripping off chunk after chunk after chunk against the team that let him go. The Panthers won, 30-27, on a late field goal:
Dowdle has now posted the top two rushing performances of the year and the top fantasy performances of both Week 5 and Week 6.
Dowdle gave the Cowboys every chance to realize what they had. After going undrafted in 2020, he was the team’s third-stringer behind Zeke Elliott and Tony Pollard. When Elliott left, he remained behind Pollard. Then Pollard left, and the Cowboys brought back the withered husk of Elliott to be RB1 instead of Dowdle. Dowdle eventually surpassed Elliott and had four 100-yard rushing games for the Cowboys down the stretch last year … then the Cowboys let him walk, despite his 1,000-yard season off the bench. Dowdle signed a 1-year, $2.75 million deal with the Panthers and circled Week 6 on the calendar.
But wait, there’s more. The reason why the Cowboys didn’t spend a lot in free agency this offseason was allegedly because they were saving money to pay Micah Parsons. But instead of paying Parsons, they traded him to the Packers. When pressed for his reasoning, owner/general manager Jerry Jones stated that he wanted to shore up the team’s run defense. Then the Cowboys and their supposedly improved run defense got run over by a former player who they could have kept for cheap. Sometimes, you get what you asked for.
After the Dolphins fell to 1-5 with a loss to the Chargers, Tua Tagovailoa called out the team’s leadership. Bold, brave criticism that hopefully reaches the team’s captain and/or quarterback, whoever that may be.
I’ll admit, I laughed when I saw that Anthony Richardson had suffered an eye injury during his pregame stretching routine — haha, this guy got hurt stretching!!!!!! 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Later, it was reported that Richardson suffered an orbital fracture when a resistance band snapped back and hit him in the face. AAAAAAAHHHHHH that sounds SO BAD I am not even going to stand near somebody using a resistance band for the rest of my life!!!!
The Bengals traded for Joe Flacco and started him five later … and he looked significantly better than Jake Browning, keeping the Bengals competitive in a 27-18 loss to the Packers.
The Buccaneers lost their top three receivers and still beat the 49ers with performances from undrafted free agent Kameron Johnson and seventh-round pick Tez Johnson, who made this absurd catch:
That either makes Baker Mayfield the MVP or Jason Licht the executive of the year … or maybe both?
I had no idea you were a fellow Jets fan. I had to subscribe just to thank you for making me laugh about their season. (If we didn’t laugh, as you know, we would cry.)
J-E-T-S! Jets! Jets! Jets!
The Jets should switch to the single wing formation.